There are lots of things I have done in my past and present that I have to ask someone to forgive me. Being married 50 years, it has been necessary for me to ask my husband to forgive me hundreds of times.
Words spoken in a moment of haste or just plain anger, desperation or confusion can hurt the listener. Harsh words are said, feelings are hurt and the only way to end it and not have it always “in the air” is to ask forgiveness. There is no other way to put to rest the strain that can build up over time.
Many times I have asked my children to forgive me. Sometimes they were still young and at home, under my care and responsibility. Yet, I found I had acted unkindly towards them, and had to ask forgiveness or I would not have the peace and love between us that I wanted and needed.
As grown adults now, with families of their own, I still find myself saying or doing things that hurt some of them. It is my duty to say…”forgive me”, I know I spoke out of turn, or said things I should not have said.
It is so easy to say to a stranger…..”forgive me if I hurt you, or insulted you with my statement”. Yet, it is so hard to say that to a member of our own family. The heart becomes harder as we let the years go by and we do not offer those words that can break down walls of separation.
Wrongs done in our youth may have strained relationships for 50 plus years. When hurts are harbored in our hearts it affects our entire lives and only asking forgiveness for what was done or said is the answer to getting rid of “hard feelings”. Too carry the weight of those transgressions is detrimental to our spiritual life and to our physical body as well.
How much better to look at someone who has wronged you or hurt you in some way and just say to yourself……” I choose to forgive you and forget it too the best of my ability to forget”. You will be released from the pain of carrying the load alone.
Family members go to their graves carrying grudges against one another. A shame that forgiveness was not requested and the forgiveness granted.No one can make another person forgive another. It must come from within. God alone can give us the grace to simply say to another..” I hurt you, and I am sorry. Please forgive me”. No strings attached. No reason to defend my actions, just forgive me. It is gone. Forgiveness has come.
The grudge holder is the one in charge now. He may or not forgive, but you have done all you can to right a wrong. It cost you humility. You paid the price.